What makes a happy marriage? Isn’t that just the golden question. What truly makes a happy marriage?
Ben and I have been together for seven years and have been married for just over a year, while we don’t have ‘years of wisdom up our sleeves’, throughout the years we have learned a lot about what contributes to a happy relationship. We are by no means perfect (we have walked some hard roads to get to where we are now), but we have learned so much along the way!
Do things for each other, not with the hope of getting something in return. Do it simply because you want to see them smile. Do things they could do for themselves such as making them a coffee, getting them a glass of water, making them a snack. Girls, make his lunch. Guys, do the washing. These things seem so simple and require such little effort but the thought behind it goes such a long way.
This one is a game changer!! I can’t encourage couples enough to do the love language test here. It essentially tells you how you best feel loved. There are five main ways people feel loved – words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, gifts and acts of service. The reason this is so important in any relationship is we tend to give love the way we want to receive it. You could be saying to your husband “I don’t feel loved by you” and they could say “but I took you out to dinner last night?” If your love language is words of affirmation, it’s not that you won’t appreciate the dinner, it just doesn’t necessarily mean it will give you the kind of love you need. Once you know each other’s love languages, you can make an effort to show your significant other love in the way they need it most.
There are so many elements to communication in marriage. I think the best thing for us has been to communicate when we were calm and could communicate honestly. No good conversation comes from communicating when you’re angry and it’s likely you will just say thing’s you don’t mean. I also think it’s important to remember that disagreements are healthy, fighting is not. Just talk about it. You are two different humans, of course, there will be thing’s you don’t agree on. Once you have talked about it, move on. Don’t hold onto things and don’t stay angry. Life’s too short.FUN
Have fun. Lots of it. Life will always be full of serious things so make sure you make the effort to add the fun too! Fun looks different to different people so I’m not going to tell you how to have fun. I’m just saying have it! For us it’s the little things, playing games, pulling pranks, giving each other frights, or even a cheeky slap on the bum in the supermarket. It’s not rocket science, it’s just a bit of fun!It’s so easy to just get into a routine and let things get dull. It takes time, effort, and commitment to keep a marriage a happy one. But marriage is the best thing in the world. Put each other first. Always remember why you fell in love with them. Do things daily for each other and keep the spark alive!